Overcoming our own fear and att achment.
The best way to help someone who is dying is to help them to have a positive, peaceful mind. That means being free of disturbing emotions such as fear, anger, att achment, depression, etc.
To be able to help someone else achieve such a state of mind, we need to work on our own state of mind, i.e. work on reducing our own fear, etc.
If we have disturbing emotions regarding death it will be very diffi cult to help another person to overcome theirs.
In the case of a loved one, itís best to learn to let them go. Clinging to them will cause both our minds and the mind of the dying to be disturbed.
It is best to be calm and peaceful; willing to listen to whatever they wish to say; be kind and sensitive and supportive, but try to avoid strong emotional reactions.
The dying person, too, should be made to accept death as a natural and inevitable phenomenon, refl ecting that all of us come according to our kamma (deeds) and we have to go according to our kamma. Sabbe sattā maranti ca, marimsu ca marissare, Tethevāham marssāmi, natt hi me ett ha samsayo.
All kinds of beings surely come to death, they have always died, will always die, in the same way I shall surely die, doubt about this does not exist in me.
He should constantly be made to refl ect on the good deeds that he has done, and be reassured that these wholesome deeds of his would lead him to good rebirth and support him in his next life.
Kammassakomhi kammadāyādo kammayoni kammabandhu kammapatisarano, Yam kammam karissāmi kalyānam vā pāpakam vā tassa dāyādo bhavissāmiti.
Due to the law of kamma, we are their Maker, their Heir, their Birthplace, their Att achment and their Pathway. We are destined to receive the results of what we have done, both good and evil.
Family members may reassure the dying person that he need not worry about them, that he should keep his mind calm and peaceful, and that it is all right to go when his time has come.
Give donations and do other meritorious deeds in the name of the sick and share the merit with him. If possible, get him personally involved in the meritorious act, or else the act should be acknowledged by him.
